4. Comparison is our own worst enemy.

With all of the social media around today, it is so easy to scroll through your Face Book, Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr newsfeed and immerse yourself in other people's lives.
Instead of creating our own stories, and actively participating in life, many of us rather (unconsciously) choose to sit on the couch and watch the Kardashians, the Snookis, the Made in Chelseas do amazing, crazy, outrageous, sometimes cringe worthy things. We watch them make good choices and stupid mistakes, and involve ourselves in their lives through television instead of doing these things, and benefiting from the experiences, ourselves.

Now, what this also opens up is a whole can of 'comparison' worms. Scrolling through all the different types of media newsfeeds, it's very easy to get carried away in other people's lives. Seeing a picture of a girl you think is just gorgeous, seeing the amazing travel photographs of people you went to school with, hearing about a great new job a relative got, a raging party you missed out on, a once in a lifetime travel opportunity your friend was given.... All the while comparing yourself and your life to that person. Sometimes your subconscious does it, and sometimes it is much more apparent.

Do you ever leave your computer, or your Face Book app, feeling a little empty or just plain defeated? That could be a warning sign that you are being sucked in by it all.

Regardless of what people post on Face Book (or other social media) you have to remember that 99% of people ONLY POST THE GOOD THINGS in their life. And, the 1% that rants on about the bad is just plain annoying!
We never know what goes on behind closed doors (or in this case, computer screens) so comparing your life to your friend/relative's online persona will not do you any just.

The only person worth comparing yourself to is you, yesterday. Are you better today? Have you done one thing to make yourself a better human being today? Are you better than you were yesterday? How have you improved?

You are the only one you should be in competition with. Each person on this Earth has a different story, a different set of circumstances. Comparing yourself to someone else is void. You can only be compared to yourself, because you are entirely UNIQUE, special, and different to every other person out there. If you are upset because someone else is achieving what you want to, you know what? Tough luck. You are the ONLY person that can make your dreams come true. Combining hard work, determination and dedication will get you where you need to be.
And you know what? Watching other people on television live their lives in outrageous ways is certainly not going to get you anywhere. That hour spent on the couch could have put you an hour in the direction of your goal.

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely a sucker of the 'love to hate' reality television and have (numerous times) spent many Sundays watching back to back episodes. But at the end of it all, I sigh, and realize that although I just watched these human beings achieve amazing things, I am still in exactly the same place - on the couch, in my pajamas, with chocolate on my face.

If you want to compare yourself to anyone, compare yourself to you. You, and only you are control where you end up in life. There are definitely times where it may seem that everything is out of your control, but how you react is one thing that can never be taken away from you.

Work hard to achieve your dreams, and soon you will have something cool to post on Face Book too.

3. Integrity. 

I sincerely love this saying. I stumbled across it last night, and have decided to really make a conscious effort to live this way everyday. It's so easy to get stuck into gossip and rumors, especially if you or someone you care about was personally involved in the situation at hand - I know I am definitely guilty of this!

As tempting as it is, and as temporarily gratifying as it sometimes can be to say something mean about someone behind their back, or go along with a rumor, we need to really work hard to understand that actually, each person has their reason for acting how they did. Everyone has a story, and this is sometimes the hardest thing to understand. As easy as it is to forget about others, and focus on our own life journey, we need to pay attention to the fact that each person we meet could be facing a harder battle.

I'm not saying be best friends with the person who slept with your boyfriend, I am saying take a breath, a step back, and assess the situation for what it is. I know you're hurting, but look at it from the outside - Is it really her fault? Did your partner not make the conscious decision to be part of it too? It's much easier to blame acts like this on the 'interfering' side, but in reality, it takes two to tango. It might help to make you feel better to slander names against her, and maybe some of them might be fitting, but does that help the situation? What lesson can you get out of this? Is it perhaps the universe telling you he's not 'the one'??......
At the end of it all, do you want to be seen on the same level? Or do you want to be seen as the one with integrity and class? If it must be said, take your pillow and hash it out in private.

One of the greater lessons in is one of karma; Your words are bodyless actions. What you tell yourself, and say to others, manifests into true form. Would you want someone to say those things about you?

Each day, try to make a conscious decision to become a better person. Anything makes a difference to your aura, be it simply saying 'hello' to the cashier and asking them about their day, leaving your small change in a donation box, really listening to a friend having a problem (not just pretending to!) or sincerely thanking someone for something they have done for you.

Your life is your legacy. How you are remembered will be reflected in your actions, your words uttered, how you make others feel, and your thoughts provoked. Make sure your legacy is one worth speaking about in an inspirational, motivational and passionate way.

2. Don't Chase People.

I recently had an argument with a good friend of mine. Afterwards, my first instinct was to bug her and push her until she replied to my messages/texts etc. Why wasn't she? Maybe if I text once more she will reply? I texted once or twice, then decided to take a step back and let her have her space. She would come when she was ready.

As humans, and especially as females, we have this wonderful way of justifying things. We can always come up with reasons why, or why not. But I am beginning to learn that deep down, we always know the truth. People come in and out of our lives for reasons - either to teach us something, or for us to teach them something. Some will stay, and some will go. There's a really fab saying - don't be sad it's over. Be grateful it happened. What lessons came out of it? In my case - I learned a bit about my personal control levels.

This can apply to friends, boyfriends, colleges, anything.

Whatever you do - don't chase people. If they want to be in your life, if they are right to be in your life, they will be. If you have to chase after them and convince them that you are a good person, or a fun person (whatever the case may be) they are not supposed to be in your life. Let things happen naturally, and know when to walk away. Give people space; The universe will align you if you need to be intertwined.

"Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people, the ones who really belong in your life, will come to you- and stay.' - Will Smith.

1. 'I know it all'.

At our end of year dance, 2006. I think only one of us had a date here!

When I graduated from high school in 2007, I legitimately thought I had it all worked out. I thought I was streams above others, who were still wondering who, what, where and why. I at least had a general idea of where I would go, what I would do, and how I would contribute to the world. I never understood people saying that your 20's would be your time of 'self discovery', of finding out who you truly are. Pfft. I already knew, and I was only 17! I must have been special.

I had flashing images of Africa, of a life helping animals and being involved in different cultures. Of exploration, adventure, of love. I had excitement in heart of swimming with dolphins, climbing Mt. Everest, being a pirate, discovering a new species, digging for our ancestors, writing a book, being an actress, of changing the world. A real thought of how easy it would all be! Extremely heightened optimism, one may call it.

Add 3 years of partying, drinking, making friends and loosing them, dating and hating, love, fights, and a university degree, and I was suddenly brought to a screeching halt with a reputation that I really didn't like
.
A friend of mine and I had moved into a flat late 2010 with a few girls who we thought were absolutely fabulous friends.Life was great - I was working for a popular radio station (along with 5 other jobs), had an older 'cool' boyfriend (who was cheating on me) and thought I was headed for the big time.
 Most of us had a few things in common - socializing, boys, the gym, and drinking. Now, this combination does not work out very well. As we were all within the same extended circle, we suddenly found ourselves in a war - my friend and I vs two others and their entire group. It got so bad that they had discussed breaking into our rooms and stealing things while we were out, that they would 'shoot us' and see if we still thought we were hot, and were discussing plans to add ingredients into our smoothies to make us fat. Really petty things now that I think back about it, but at the time hearing about it really hurt. They would smile to our faces and spit behind out backs.

For some reason, with all this going on behind closed doors, we all thought it would be a fab idea to all go to New Zealand's most fantastic New Years Eve party together - 6 hours away. We all camped together, but from the start my friend and I could feel tension building. I think it's because their two worlds collided - the one where they were smiling to us when no one was around, and suddenly, when we were surrounded by our extended 'friends' the other world emerged.
 I'm not at all suggesting my friend and I were completely innocent, but the reason for it all was actually my friend's personal business and involved no one else except her and her then boyfriend. It ended in a physical fight between my friend and one of the meaner girls, and we promptly left the scene and proceeded to move out immediately to ensure no further harm was done to her. The rest is history, and I've long forgotten the details - they just don't matter anymore.

What it showed me though, was that somewhere along this 3 year line, I had lost my vision, happiness, optimism. I had become a shell of my former self, only applying layers of what I thought people wanted me to be. Friends from that era will remember me being a very over the top 'happy' person, but at the drop of the hat, I could turn upset, depressed and manic.

Why? Upon contemplating 'woe is me' at a Bon Jovi concert, I suddenly got a slap in the face from reality - This was because I had NO idea who I was! Despite my utmost confidence and belief that I had already had my life sorted out, I was suddenly shocked to realize I didn't know this person engulfing me. I didn't have morals or values because I didn't know who I was, what morals or values I wanted. So, I adapted depending on who I was around, constantly changing to suit other people, and NEVER being my true self.
I then proceeded to make one of the best decisions I ever had, it changed my life immensely. I decided to complete my last semester of university in South Africa. Within a matter of weeks, I left my life in New Zealand and jumped into a brand new world. I didn't know anyone except my family there, and I went with a goal to be true to myself and nothing more. The little light inside me that was so close to being flushed out suddenly grew warm and bright. I was 20.

Now, at age 23 , I sit at a round table with the same laptop that furiously typed out communication assignments within minutes of deadlines and deleted pictures I didn't want people to see. But, instead of concrete walls and cars rushing by, I am sitting in the middle of a warm game reserve in Southern Africa. Surrounded by wildlife seen in the lion king instead of humans, and with the nearest town about 30 minutes away (and the nearest city 2+ hours away), I have been blessed with time to contemplate exactly what this life means; Why we are here, why we have each been given what we have. What we can contribute to this world, and to ourselves.

Lesson number one for me in my twenties is to never believe you know it all. No matter what your plans are, they can and most likely will ALWAYS change. You need to be prepared to be able to adapt without conflict and drama. When we are young and free, with our lives ahead of us at age 17, we quickly fail to think about just exactly how we are going to do this. Breath. Believe in yourself. You will get there with patience, kindness and determination.

Baby sitting an orphaned rhino calf in South Africa.